Home > Case Studies > Starting Again After Separation: Case Study

Starting Again After Separation: Case Study

By: Lynne Conner - Updated: 18 Sep 2012 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Partner Home Work Friends

Hannah Medley didn’t choose to be separated “It wasn’t an amicable split” she says. In fact, her partner of fifteen years had an affair with an office colleague and decided to move out. “It was a bombshell, I had no warning. He just suddenly told me he wanted to move out and was gone within 24 hours.” Hannah was left to pick up the pieces in the empty family home.

Disbelief

Her first reaction was one of disbelief. “I kept thinking he would come to his senses and come home but he didn’t.” Somehow Hannah continued on automatic pilot. “I went to my work every day but it was an out of body experience, I was numb.” Friends rallied round her. “That has been the big secret, my friends, I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

Things were to get worse for Hannah when her partner refused to continue paying the mortgage on the family home. “I couldn’t afford it on my own and so we were forced to sell up. It was a really difficult time for me.” The stress began to take its toll on Hannah and she became ill and had to take time off work. “I wasn’t coping very well, it was just all too much for me.”

Turning her life around

It was her doctor’s advice which began to turn her life around. “My GP advised me to start going to the gym as healthy exercise could help promote a more healthy way of thinking. I also needed to shed a few pounds.”

Hannah was reluctant at first but joined her local gym with a friend. She began working out and also attended exercise classes in yoga, tai chi and boxcercise. “It was a hard slog at first but my friend and I kept each other going.” Soon, Hannah became addicted to the exercise high. “I get a buzz from exercising and people began commenting on my improved appearance. I lost weight and had a healthy glow about me for the first time in months.”

Even when her friend stopped attending so many classes Hannah has stuck with it. She has progressed from beginner’s to intermediate classes and has made a whole set of new friends. She is even considering working towards an instructor’s certificate in yoga and has attended weekend retreats and extra classes.

New-found confidence

Tackling the gym successfully brought Hannah a new-found confidence. She found a new place to live and set about doing it up. “It was my chance to put my own stamp on the place. I realised I had no-one else to answer to and for the first time that felt liberating.”

It took time but gradually Hannah has come to enjoy her independence “I realise now that things weren’t perfect between my partner and I. Maybe we just put up with each other for some of the time and maybe we both deserved better than that. Mind you, I still find it hard to forgive him for how he treated me but I’ve moved way past regretting it. Life is too short and there is too much to be getting on with.”

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Topics
Latest Comments
  • son
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    my ex parther want me to sell our family home or buy him out . i would like to stay in my home . dont know wot to do ...
    19 August 2019
  • SouM
    Re: Buy Out The Mortgage From Your Ex
    Me and my ex partner (not married) own a house as tenants in common. He has put 80% of the deposit and I have put 20%. We…
    10 August 2019
  • NIC
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    Hi i left my ex 4 years ago and I remained in the jointly owned property with our 2 kids. Since we split I have paid the…
    3 August 2019
  • Minam
    Re: Should You Tell Your Ex You're Dating Again?
    I don't want my ex back but I feel sorry for him he always cry for and I've found someone new .I broke up…
    11 July 2019
  • Mrs Jennifer Swift
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    Hi I split up with my partner 2 years ago and moved out, we have 2 children together, we agreed on splitting everything down the…
    8 July 2019
  • Oli
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    My wife and I are separated. Have two children. She lives in the house we jointly own with our children. Up until late last…
    23 June 2019
  • Juju
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    A friend brought his house with his then girlfriend 10years ago. She left after 2 years never paying anything but he now wants…
    10 June 2019
  • Shelley
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I have been separated from my husband for 5 years.He wont sign divorce papers and my name is on mortgage.How can I get my divorce
    9 June 2019
  • Lawrence Ham
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    my wife has a house with her ex, (not married) she wants out of the mortgage so we can move forward. How do we get her name off…
    21 May 2019
  • Tara
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    Hi there I have a slight problem with my partner we always angry with each other we live in the same house but not as partner I…
    13 May 2019