Home > Case Studies > Starting Again After Separation: Case Study

Starting Again After Separation: Case Study

By: Lynne Conner - Updated: 18 Sep 2012 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Partner Home Work Friends

Hannah Medley didn’t choose to be separated “It wasn’t an amicable split” she says. In fact, her partner of fifteen years had an affair with an office colleague and decided to move out. “It was a bombshell, I had no warning. He just suddenly told me he wanted to move out and was gone within 24 hours.” Hannah was left to pick up the pieces in the empty family home.

Disbelief

Her first reaction was one of disbelief. “I kept thinking he would come to his senses and come home but he didn’t.” Somehow Hannah continued on automatic pilot. “I went to my work every day but it was an out of body experience, I was numb.” Friends rallied round her. “That has been the big secret, my friends, I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

Things were to get worse for Hannah when her partner refused to continue paying the mortgage on the family home. “I couldn’t afford it on my own and so we were forced to sell up. It was a really difficult time for me.” The stress began to take its toll on Hannah and she became ill and had to take time off work. “I wasn’t coping very well, it was just all too much for me.”

Turning her life around

It was her doctor’s advice which began to turn her life around. “My GP advised me to start going to the gym as healthy exercise could help promote a more healthy way of thinking. I also needed to shed a few pounds.”

Hannah was reluctant at first but joined her local gym with a friend. She began working out and also attended exercise classes in yoga, tai chi and boxcercise. “It was a hard slog at first but my friend and I kept each other going.” Soon, Hannah became addicted to the exercise high. “I get a buzz from exercising and people began commenting on my improved appearance. I lost weight and had a healthy glow about me for the first time in months.”

Even when her friend stopped attending so many classes Hannah has stuck with it. She has progressed from beginner’s to intermediate classes and has made a whole set of new friends. She is even considering working towards an instructor’s certificate in yoga and has attended weekend retreats and extra classes.

New-found confidence

Tackling the gym successfully brought Hannah a new-found confidence. She found a new place to live and set about doing it up. “It was my chance to put my own stamp on the place. I realised I had no-one else to answer to and for the first time that felt liberating.”

It took time but gradually Hannah has come to enjoy her independence “I realise now that things weren’t perfect between my partner and I. Maybe we just put up with each other for some of the time and maybe we both deserved better than that. Mind you, I still find it hard to forgive him for how he treated me but I’ve moved way past regretting it. Life is too short and there is too much to be getting on with.”

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Topics
Latest Comments
  • Trudy Carney
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I have paid our joint mortgage solely for the last 8years with no contribution from my ex husband. I now have to sell the…
    13 August 2020
  • Trudemyster
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I have paid a joint mortgage solely for the last 8years with no contribution from my husband. I am now having to sell what is he…
    13 August 2020
  • Tangy
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I need to sell the house as he has moved out over a year and a half ago. I cannot transfer the mortgage into my sole name due to…
    10 August 2020
  • Fiona Braybrooke
    Re: What is a Legal Separation?
    Hi. I have recently separated from ex partner. The house that we both live in is in my name both land Registry and mortgage. When…
    31 July 2020
  • sut
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    My partner and I recently bought our house outright. Due do from interference from our son who we kindly put up while he was…
    22 July 2020
  • D0705
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    My ex-partner of 29 years moved out almost 3 years ago. He has continued to pay half of the mortgage and life insurance, but has…
    22 July 2020
  • Liouk
    Re: Being Happy With Yourself After Separation
    My wife came home from work and told me that she love me but is in love with someone else. My world collapse.…
    17 July 2020
  • Big D
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    Slips from ex 8 months ago , she wanted to buy me out but needed 6 months to prove she could afford the mortgage as set out by…
    16 July 2020
  • Leo68
    Re: How Does Alimony and Child Support Work?
    There is an legal issue on this website!!! I contacted Google support as you dont have webmaster contact anywhere…
    14 July 2020
  • Lizzie65uk
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    After 27 years married and no mortgage, I want to divorce my husband. I am disabled and recieve PIP but have no other income. He…
    14 July 2020