Home > Emotional Support > Relying on Your Family for Support Following a Separation

Relying on Your Family for Support Following a Separation

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 18 Sep 2012 | comments*Discuss
Separation Divorce Family Brother Sister

When a break up happens, we turn to our friends, but we also instinctively turn to our families. It’s a natural reaction to look to family. We know and trust them, and believe they’ll be on our side, no matter what the circumstances. After all, they nurtured us when we were young, and it’s perfectly normal to seek a place of emotional shelter when we’re hurt.

The Family as a Resource

Although family can mean aunts and uncles and more extended relations, the ones we usually turn to first are the closest – parents, brothers and sisters. They know us best, and in most cases are the ones emotionally nearest, most willing to understand. It’s a bond literally built from birth and one that usually can’t be broken.

A few nights staying with your parents after a break up can be beneficial. You’ll be carefully looked after, and, for most of us, whatever you want to say will be accepted without question, with anger spent on your behalf to your ex.

If you’ve been forced to leave your home, staying with your parents can make a good temporary base before deciding on your next move. It’s secure, although what seemed good as a child might not be as ideal when you’re grown.

If they’re close emotionally, siblings can be good sounding boards and people to whom you can vent your rage and frustration, as well as talk to very candidly. Again, they’ll be on your side, rather than your ex, and knowing that can help a great deal, especially if you end up losing some trusted friends in the break up.

Material Help

It might be that, in the aftermath, you need financial and material help. The first people to turn to are family. If they can help, they will. It might be money, it might be furniture for a new flat or house, it might be the loan of a car, but knowing they’re there can bring plenty of comfort.

If you do borrow money, however, pay it back as soon as you can and wipe the slate clean. They might suggest you treat it as a gift, but don’t; it’s better for everyone if it’s returned when possible. Unless you come from a very rich family, their savings are limited. After all, another family member might need it in time – or something may happen and you might need it again.

Family members might well have friends or contacts who can help you find a new place to live if necessary, and the lofts and sheds of those near to you can provide furniture. It might not be the best or most fashionable, but for a start, it can give you what you need.

Long-Term Emotional Support

One thing about families – unless you consciously reject them, they won’t go away. Even if you turn your back on them, the family is one place where you can always return in time. Families are for life.

In almost every case, your family will always be there for you, ready to listen and to help in whatever way they can. Remember they’ll be there when you need them, and be grateful.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
Why not be the first to leave a comment for discussion, ask for advice or share your story...

If you'd like to ask a question one of our experts (workload permitting) or a helpful reader hopefully can help you... We also love comments and interesting stories

(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
(never shown)
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Trudy Carney
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I have paid our joint mortgage solely for the last 8years with no contribution from my ex husband. I now have to sell the…
    13 August 2020
  • Trudemyster
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I have paid a joint mortgage solely for the last 8years with no contribution from my husband. I am now having to sell what is he…
    13 August 2020
  • Tangy
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    I need to sell the house as he has moved out over a year and a half ago. I cannot transfer the mortgage into my sole name due to…
    10 August 2020
  • Fiona Braybrooke
    Re: What is a Legal Separation?
    Hi. I have recently separated from ex partner. The house that we both live in is in my name both land Registry and mortgage. When…
    31 July 2020
  • sut
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    My partner and I recently bought our house outright. Due do from interference from our son who we kindly put up while he was…
    22 July 2020
  • D0705
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    My ex-partner of 29 years moved out almost 3 years ago. He has continued to pay half of the mortgage and life insurance, but has…
    22 July 2020
  • Liouk
    Re: Being Happy With Yourself After Separation
    My wife came home from work and told me that she love me but is in love with someone else. My world collapse.…
    17 July 2020
  • Big D
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    Slips from ex 8 months ago , she wanted to buy me out but needed 6 months to prove she could afford the mortgage as set out by…
    16 July 2020
  • Leo68
    Re: How Does Alimony and Child Support Work?
    There is an legal issue on this website!!! I contacted Google support as you dont have webmaster contact anywhere…
    14 July 2020
  • Lizzie65uk
    Re: Selling the Jointly Owned Home
    After 27 years married and no mortgage, I want to divorce my husband. I am disabled and recieve PIP but have no other income. He…
    14 July 2020